Peace of mind
by Charro
Summary: Sequel to 'The Sad Reality' "RATED MATURE" Parker and Jarod return back to Refuge to visit his beloved Shelby on the six month anniversary of her death. Parker's mission to help Jarod overcome his grief. Will she sucess?
1. Chapter 1

Peace of mind

Chapter One

Sequel to "The Sad reality"

The game of "you run, I chase" was still in progress for the 'wayward pretender' as well as four others. After a fiery discussion, three had gone on to their next secret hideaway.

Jarod had requested that he wanted to be alone for the next few days, but, Parker wouldn't hear of it. She would be there for him as he had been there for her.

She sets across the table from him and sips on her third cup of coffee this evening inside another greasy spoon dinner.

Jarod's eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, with dark shadows under his eyes and his face unshaven. His hair remained the same long with a few strands curled up around his ears.

She smiles, '_it suits him_, she thought while she watches him stare out the window, so lost in thought.

His forearms rested on the table; his fingers laced together, Jarod, closed his eyes to keep the tears at bay because in the light of day he would not allow himself to cry. However, during the night when everyone was asleep, behind closed doors, he wept, as he had done for the past six months.

Memories, pressed between the pages of his mind. Jarod swallowed down the large lump in his throat, he tightened his eyelids, for tomorrow is the sixth-month anniversary of Shelby's death.

Shelby was and still is the love of his life he had proclaimed to Parker and the rest of the group without reservation. He would love her till the end of time, for all eternity!

Jarod gazed for a moment at the old oak tree that sat high upon the hill across the street from him; beneath it rest a lone tombstone. He had bought the other grave site, his wish to be buried next to, Shelby, when his time came.

"You need to eat something, Jarod."

He breathes in deeply then slowly let it out, "Stop being a mother hen with me!" He hissed though clenched teeth.

In the blink of her eyes, he leaps up from the table and stomps towards the entrance.

"Jarod, wait!" She shouts to him.

"Damnit!" She mumbles under her breath.

Parker tossed a twenty on the wooden table and ran after him.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Peace of mind 

Chapter two

Twilight was now approaching them. No matter how much, Jarod ranted and raved at her, Parker wasn't going to leave her one true friend. The one that she had come too trust years ago. She was going to be there for him as he had been there for her in her darkness moments.

In the beginning the therapy sessions between Jarod and Sydney, were going well or so everyone thought. Parker stands a short distance away from where; Shelby had been laid to rest. Her eyes brim with tears watching the 'pretender' crisscross his arms over his chest, his hands grip his shoulder so tightly that his knuckles are turning white, and his body begins to quiver.

Jarod was beyond exhausted. He was on the brink of madness, consumed with a guilty conscience over what he thought was his fault. It wasn't, she strongly believed, letting the tears stream down her face in the mist of Jarod dropping to his knees before her headstone.

He cleared his throat. "Please leave me be, Parker!" He hissed with clinched teeth.

His eyes rest upon her headstone, his face scrunches up, and his throat constricts, while his eyes cloud over with tears.

"I can't do that because I want to be here for you, Jarod, as you were for me." Parker replies to his backside.

He turns his head to his right. "FYI. You were never there for me in the past! So, don't you dare try and be here for me now!" His voice dark, his words razor-sharp they pierce her heart.

Granted she was never there for him, couldn't be because of 'The Centre'. She bites down on her bottom lip and elected not to speak her mind.

Parker watched her 'childhood friend, his breath cloaked with silent sobs, shoulders quacking in misery, he so angry at, The Centre, the Parker family, the world, perhaps even his family, and himself included.

She kneels by his side, places her index finger under his chin and turns his head to hers. "Do you remember what you said to me when we were at Ocee's?"

His face to hers, but his eyes were on the one that had flown away in the arms of an angel.

Parker edges closer to Jarod. "You said, "Let the storm raged on the outside, Ms. Parker, not on the inside." Parker cradles his head in her hands.

She felt his jawbones flinch, pain radiated from his eyes, and it seeped from the pores of his skin, he so plagued with misery over the death of Shelby.

"Rant and rave, do whatever you must do to let go of the pain that rage in your heart. Put the blame where it truly lies on me, Lyle, that stupid bet of ours. Not on yourself, Jarod."

"I -- after our return from Scotland I realized that you and I would never have something more in our lives. That maybe it was supposed to be that way where you and I were concerned and I put a period at the end of us. I'm sorry if what I'm about to say hurts you, Parker, but I wanted someone in my life to love and cherish as you did with Thomas." Jarod let his smile come to his face.

"Tell me your thoughts?" To be the one to be there for him was what Parker wanted.

Jarod brought his hands to his face and wiped his tears away. "I drove around in circles for months in search of a place where I could feel safe and secure. And as I continued to search for that place I thought back to the women that I had had the pleasure of being with for a few hours, a few days, which I will always think of them with pleasure. I hate to say this, Parker, but I was never in love with any of them, not even Zoë, they were nothing more than a warm body for me to cuddle up with during those cold lonely nights when I needed someone to whisper sweet nothings into my ears."

Jarod rose to a standing position, walks a short distance away, he breathes in deeply and slowly exhales as his hands rakes through his hair. "I had no intentions of staying here for more than a day or two. But I was fatigued from driving all night so I pulled into the first motel that I came to, got a room, and tried to sleep but I couldn't so, I decided to take a walk on the beach hoping that the sounds of the ocean would help me to relax."

Parker came to his side and took his right hand into hers. "And that is when you had the pleasure of meeting Shelby."

Jarod turns his head away from Parker's, his bottom lip trembles. "Not the usual way when you are introduce to someone." He lightly chuckles thinking back to that morning just after dawn.

"What?"

"I was walking around the beach, came to a stop when I stepped on a starfish and had lean over to pick it up then out of the blue, bam someone knocked my ass into the water, deep enough that I had to hold my breath, my eyes begin to sting, and there was the cutest little thing setting on me with her left hand pressed against my chest and in the other hand was a football." Jarod let a snicker escape.

Once again he crossed his aching arms over his chest and tears flowed down his distorted face filled with so much pain for what had happened.

Parker steps forward with open arms she embraces, Jarod, together they weep. "Let it out, Jarod. Let all the pain out." Her right hand gently rubs along his trembling back.

Jarod had been down this path so many times during his theory sessions with, Sydney. But it didn't help.

"Shelby never asked anything of me. But when I told her that I had come to love her more than I did you. Shelby showed me the love that she had come to have for me…as I had hoped for. " He confessed to Parker, his 'huntress' of many years, his grin she couldn't see.

Parker gently rubs the back of his head, crying for the one that she was consoling in her arms as she had done with, Sydney, when, Jacob, passed away.

"I love her so much, and miss her, and I want Shelby back in my life." He shallows hard as he inhales weeping on Parker's right shoulder. His arms wrap tightly around her waist.

"I know, Jarod" Parker eased him back and cupped his wet face in her hands, her eyes locked on chocolate orbs saturated with tears. "You mustn't continue to blame yourself because it wasn't your fault. You hear me, Jarod? You…"

Parker instantly froze in her tracks, "click" the sound all too familiar to her. Jarod had seized her smith and Wesson from its holster that rested against the small of her back.

She pleads with her eyes, but, Jarod's head slips from her hands and he takes two steps back away from her.

He places the barrel of the weapon against his right temple.

"Jarod?" she calls out to him. "Please give me the weapon." She takes a small step towards him. "If you do this, I guarantee you Broots, Debbie, Sydney or I will never you forgive for killing yourself. We'll feed pieces of your body to the sharks like fish bait. I understand your grief, the pain that you're experiencing, because I went through the same thing when, Mama and Thomas died."

Jarod lightly chuckles, " It's all because of you, your ancestors, The Centre, those damn scrolls, the secrets and lies, my family, their wishes to conceive me, and for that Shelby now lays cold in her grave!" he growls back at her.

Parker watches his finger tighten around the trigger, slowly squeezing the trigger inward. "You are absolutely right, we are to blame. But you aren't too blame, Jarod. You loved Shelby, your wants were to protect her, keep her safe, until you could go to her. You only did what you thought was the best for everyone at that time in your life."

"The Best for everyone! The best for everyone!" He recited to her. "I said horrible things that should have never been said! I pretended that Shelby meant nothing to me, just another whore for me to bed down with, said, "Don't love you. Never have!" he stare angrily at Parker. "And as I looked at the one that I come to love stand there before me and bite down on her bottom lip to keep from crying. I continued to rant and rave and laugh, and belittle, and scream at, Shelby. And what did she do?" He paused for a moment. "Nothing! She just stood there after I slapped her for the things that she said about you, which were true, I might add -- and, then she slowly turned away from me and walked out of our home, and down the steps. Never said another word, just left and I did nothing to stop her! I DID NOTHING!" he free finger pointing at the ground.

Parker once more moves closer to him, what a time for her mind to go blank! She thought to herself, she lifts her hand up to him, palm up, "Jarod, please we can help you get through this pain, I promise. Please, give me the weapon, please?"

"I. Want. To. Be. With. Shelby." his finally words to be said and squeezed the trigger.

"Nooo."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Piece of Mind

Chapter 3

Teary eyes glance into the rear-view mirror, they watch the flashing red and blue lights disappear around the bend; her foot pushes down on the accelerator. The men and women of the police department who pledge to protect and serve the people that live here in, Refuge, would find no clues when they arrive on the scene.

The truth was that no one could testify as to who fired the weapon only that they heard a single shot being fired somewhere in the vicinity of the cemetery.

Lightning zigzags across the dark gloomy skies where no moon and stars dare not tread. Steel-blue eyes return to the street before her.

Like the outgoing tide of the ocean her mind rolls back in time-- to where it all began to when she set alone playing in her, Mother's office, she summon to a different sub-level of 'The Centre' where she met a special child, a boy name "Jarod".

_You're a girl. _

Eyes overflowing with tears, they watch another patrol car zoom pass, her hands grip tightly around the top of the steering wheel. She cuts her eyes from one side-mirror to the opposite one, now she the hunted instead of the hunter, she holds her breath watching one lone black sedan pull out of an alleyway, it now tail-gates her, headlights on high-beam.

Parker leaned forward, her smith and Wesson slithered out of its holster, her thumb eased the safety over, the bullet injected in the chamber, its barrel rested just below the windowpane beneath her left forearm, and she waited like a tigress lucking in the shadows ready to pounce on its prey.

Eyes watch the black sedan pull alongside of her, it slows, and she holds her breath, waiting, and observing the two men.

To kill or be killed, it wasn't a choice. It was called survival. By bus, car, helicopter, train, plane, or afoot it didn't matter to her. Freedom was what she had desired and freedom is what she now has.

Come hell or high water she would do whatever necessary in order to remain free. Suddenly the black sedan immediately turns to the left.

Parker released the air that was held hostage in her lungs, while her mind picked up where it left off. They became friends, they grew up together, and they came to trust one another. Two met in secrecy, they came to share their first kiss, they became teenagers, she went away, he had to stay, and the years passed by.

And then one day the "Pretender" ran away.

Her assignment was to bring back a man who could literally become anyone that he wanted to be. She waited for a tip of his whereabouts, whether it was through the Internet or a newspaper article, another trip, they played the cat and mouse game. Another lair she entered, another red notebook she found, nothing more, as for the 'wayward Pretender, as usual he was gone. Her sighs could be heard around the world, another excuse she would have to give to 'the Chairman', not what he wanted to hear.

_What do you want from me, Jarod?_

Eyes watch the cars to her left, and then she too follows the same path that the cars before her have chosen to partake of. Always on the guard for sweepers sent to bring her back to a life she wants no part of anymore. She cusses under her breath while her hand shields her eyes from the bright lights of the oncoming car.

She once trapped in a world where deceit, domination, control, power, secrets, lies, exploitation, manipulation, and conspiracies were an everyday occurrence and still are. She referred to her 'once upon a time' office as hell with fluorescent lighting. Days turned into weeks, waiting in her office for her 'computer whiz' to locate him and somewhere along the way she came to hide her emotions behind a mask of ice…she was deemed the "Ice-queen".

_I want to know who I am. Of where I came from?_

_Even if I did know the truth, you know that I couldn't tell you._

He had escaped from a place where evil reigns. He stayed one step ahead of his predators. Always two steps behind in finding out the truth about himself. Secrets he searched for, secrets he found pertaining to her past. They arrived by mail, and with them came a shit-load of questions, never any answers.

Letters written in her 'mother's' handwriting he gave to her, they spoke of her plan to rescue the children from the Centre, as well as her and Jarod, a dream that would never come true for Catherine Parker.

Calls he made to her office, late night calls to her home, at first she truly believed his reason was to taunt her, but she came to realize that his reason was because he trusted her, because he still remembered the little girl who gave him his first kiss. One night a different conversation they embarked on.

_What will become of us?_

_That is the question._

More secrets reveal, a clone name, Gemini, product of Raines, Kyle brother to Jarod, Ethan, her half-brother, Tommy, and her mother, they all victims of an evilness like she and Jarod. Fate brought them together, fate kept them apart.

To have a weak moment was to show a sign of weakness nonetheless tonight she does not care if she is having another damn weak moment she is entitled, the good, the bad, and the ugly all the memories collided together. Her mind, body, and soul would forever be haunted. She knew that he was always watching her from afar, she never did see him, but she could sense his presence. She never admitted to anyone that she would set up night after night and wait by the phone for him to call her.

_Will we never know the truth?_

_We'll figure it out._

A photo of their mothers fax to them while they were talking to each other, doesn't know to this day who was the messenger, who ever discovers the secret first, wins! Clues he finds, she gets a tip, again she is too late, he calls, blows the horn and waves up to her, they both are off the Scotland, to the isle of Cathris.

His mother leaves on the last boat, she pulls her weapon on him, he always knows what to say, she lowers it, time for a truce, they go on scavenger hunt, she discovers the truth about her ancestors in the Parker cemetery, they all murdered because of the Scrolls, they return to Ocee's, both set in front of the fire to warm themselves by. He hands her a cup of tea, then he sat down by her, they talk of times gone by, and they smile at one another. She tucks herself deeper into the cotton robe for warmth. He places a blanket around her shoulders, their hands touch, she sighs, and slowly her hand moves away. He knows that she doesn't want to hear it, but he tells her that she too is a victim of the Centre just like him. They conversation continues.

_Why is it that the one person that I have been trained to distrust, to hate, to kill is always with me during my darkness moments?_

_Maybe it's supposed to be that way._

Blue eyes met chocolate eyes, they traveled over one another's faces, his eyes spoke volumes to her, they leaned into one another, hearts raced, a moment of weakness, each other's breath hot, lips almost together, but atlas the kiss wasn't meant to be, for Ocee had entered the room.

Scrolls are discovered, however they would never see what had been written, daddy showed up, the Pretender, handcuffed, the trip to the airport, the scrolls exchanged hands, they remained in the Lincoln Town car.

He talks to her with puppy dog eyes, she doesn't look at him, he hands cups around hers, and she jerks it out of his grasp.

_I know that there is more to our lives than I run, you chase. _

_Turning points only come when you have something to turn to._

_We both deserve something more. _

_I'm sorry this isn't the ending that you were looking for. It's just how the damn story goes, Jarod. _

They escorted from the car, she walked over to where, 'daddy' was standing, and she looked into his eyes, searching for an answer. She can hear the chains of the shackles clamped around his ankles, jingling. Closer, closer, he makes his way over to her, and then he stopped.

_Funny thing about life Ms. Parker, if you rewrite the story, the ending is up to you._

Another secret was revealed to her, Raines was her father, -- shit! She knew of where she came from. The plane ride home, daddy jumps from the plan with scrolls in hand, people died, airplane takes a nose-dive, Jarod to the rescue, they land, again "The Pretender" had escaped. She returned to the Centre…he called …then he asked.

_What about us?_

_You run, I chase that decision was made for us a long time ago._

_Maybe that is the Parker curse._

No way she could change the past; no way she could take it back.

Parker consumed with anguish, sorrow and pain for having pushed him away every time he asked her for something more, each time the imaginary knife would slashed another piece of her heart away.

She wanting him, needing him, trusting in only him, and most of all loving him with every fiber of her being. All the same she could never left her true feelings be seen by those who were her colleagues, especially Raines and Lyle.

She sighs, it had to be that way, she didn't have a choice, death was a means of controlling one, her thoughts continue.

Three weeks went by, nothing would, Jarod, say to her, oh he spoke to everyone else just not her, that is until it was their turn to shop for groceries, a few words were spoken between them as they pushed to grocery cart down the aisles, nothing to brag about, but at least it was a start for 'predator and prey'.

One week later, another close call, they sail into the station wagon, eyes on their predators, weapons drawn like they were a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. Then came the knock-down, dragged-out fight between them, over her continuing to wear those damn stilettos heels of hers, dressed in short miniskirts, they were going to get them kill or worse captured, it was Wal-Mart's or she would be walking around barefoot in her birth date suit.

_You and what army!_

_Me, a pair of handcuffs, Smith, and Wesson!_

_You won't dare!_

_I would dare without hesitation!_

Both of them hardheaded, both wanted to have it their way, and the fights continued for what seemed like an eternity for everyone involved. Everyone staying out of their way as they continued to argue like a married couple, she snorts turning onto the last leg of her journey for tonight.

_How long are you going to make me pay for my crime, Jarod? _

_How about until the twelfth of never!_

_And what is your verdict on the issue of our friendship status to be?_

_I don't know, Parker! Why don't you email me? _

_I wouldn't give you the satisfaction, boy wonder!_

_Thank god for small favors!_

Both stormed out of the room. Sydney and Debbie to the rescue, Jarod and Parker both reprimanded for their childish actions. The storm still rages on the inside as well as on the outside for the both of them. Friends? Depends on one's definition of "friend", as for Parker she looks at their friendship as it be the same as it was when she was the 'Predator' and he was the 'prey" some things never seem to change, old habits are hard to break, in view of the fact of how and where they grew up, inside the prison walls while evil reigns on a daily basis, it was a necessity, not a privilege.

Parker rolls to a stop, she breathes in deeply and kills the engine, she fatigue, with a migraine to boot, the fingertips of her left hand massage her aching forehead, as a final point she pinches the bridge of her nose, it doesn't help any.

This was the place where the legendary game of "You ran, I chase" ended between 'predator and prey'… but not for them, their adventures to date have taken them far and wide, always having to look over their shoulders, always on the run, they each searched for peace of mind. This place too represented the place where 'The Bet' between siblings ended in tragedy for two people. For Parker, as far as she was concerned, Lyle wasn't a tragedy for he was the devils right hand man, but on the other hand, Parker will forever blame herself for the death of, Shelby, as she does herself for the death of Thomas.

She shakes her head, to rid herself of the memories for the time being, later tonight when she closes her eyes to rest the nightmares will come and come they will with a vengeance. How, when, and where her life would end, she chooses not to think about tonight. Tomorrow was another day for her to live like she was dying.

Out of habit, Parker scans the area for the obvious reasons, before she opens the door, _'all clear'_, she thought, and exits the car, and then quietly closes the door, walks around the front of the car, opens the passenger door of the car, bends over and leans into the car.

One hand unbuckles the seat belt while her free hand comes to rest on the dazed entity that the seatbelt had protected from harm. Not one damn nick to be found on his face, but he did fire the damn gun, she heard it, and there is only one explanation as to why he wasn't dead.

"Jarod"

TBC


End file.
